For Banana or Tofu, see Episode 3 and Not Having Sex.
Episode Three
Cucumber 3189653b - Copia
Episode Information
Written by Russel T Davies
Directed by David Evans
Episode Guide
Previous Episode Two
Next Episode Four

Episode Three is the third episode of Cucumber, aired 5 February 2015 on Channel 4.


Henry stumbles into a dangerous trap when Freddie meets his old school teacher, Gregory, and sets out for revenge.

Lance takes action and cuts Henry off completely, while at work, Daniel’s attempts to help seem to hint at something more. Is Lance imagining things, or is Daniel not as straight as he seems?


Cleo shows up at the flat to help her brother with the relocation and already poses a hostess, sending Freddie in the kitchen preparing drinks for everyone. However, the boy does not object and let everyone put at ease, including the guy that he fucked the night before who asks Freddie if he can stay to take a shower.

Guests are then in the living room and talk primarily of the situation of Henry until Freddie's adventure of a night recognizes Adam, Cleo's son, as the handjobs vlogger and earns a brooch from Adam.

Adam then explains to Freddie how he opened a youtube account where he and a friend masturbate and sell merchandise. When Freddie points out that is prostitution, Adam sarcastically asks "How much do you earn per hour?" implying that Freddie is a hooker.

Meanwhile, Henry and Lance start fighting, leaving messages on the answering machine because Lance has blocked the joint account at the bank, leaving Henry without money.

Later, while going away, Cleo asks him to do so that Henry return to his house. While going to work, Freddie meets on the street an old high school teacher, Gregory Pascoe, with his wife and children and the woman, who is a friend of Freddie's mom, invites him to get something together for a chat. When they are at local, one of the girls is poured on the juice and the woman accompanies her to the bathroom to clean, leaving her husband alone with Freddie. Gregory, at this point, start doing heavy sexual innuendo, giving to understand that the two have had sex while Freddie was one of his students; Gregory then tells Freddie to follow him for one last fuck after getting rid of his wife, but at the last moment Freddie thinks better and do not submit to the predefined location (the bathrooms of the Art Gallery).

At the Aquarium's locker room, Lance and Daniel are stripping for swimming lesson that Daniel has promised to Lance and the two are then in the pool, where Lance learns to swim. After a while, the two begin to chat and jumps out the speech that Lance make some good blowjobs, but when the two are out of the pool because it must start another lesson, Daniel holds in water because he has an erection because of things said by Lance.

For the rest of the day, Freddie sends text messages to Gregory and makes sure to invite him to the apartment. Meanwhile, while waiting, Freddie hang on the wall drawings of comics that he had made when he was a student, which shows himself sodomized by the professor. When Gregory comes, is initially offended by the drawings but still starts masturbating the boy but when Freddie makes him a photo and threatened to send the photo to his wife, Gregory began to beat him until Henry intervenes to try to stop them but Lance is that who saves the day. The same night, thanking him in his own way, Freddie tells Henry that he arranged a date with a guy for Henry.




  • The tagline for this episode was "Orgasm faces".